What Can I Detach From? As a Caregiver.

During a recent Chopra Gaja Collective webinar, the question was asked:
“What can you detach from?”

It struck me deeply.
So often, we grip things tightly; schedules, expectations, plans, roles, thinking control will bring peace. But more often than not, it only brings tension.

I began to reflect on where I could soften.
Where I could, as my mentor Mel Salvatore August reminds me, “hold it lightly”.

And the first answer that came to me was… time.

As a full-time caregiver; especially to someone with both mental and physical disabilities, my relationship with time is complex. I can plan my day, block out hours, set intentions, and still everything can shift in an instant.

One moment we’re in a routine; prepping a meal, setting up for a session, answering emails.
The next moment, my loved one needs me fully present. And suddenly, all the pieces of the day scatter like leaves in the wind.

For a long time, I resisted this. I felt behind, frustrated, overwhelmed.
But lately, I’ve started practicing something different:
Detaching from the idea that time has to unfold in a straight, organized line.

I’m learning to lean into what’s real right now.
To breathe when plans shift.
To remember that the to-dos can wait….
But the person in front of me, the hand that needs holding, the eyes searching for calm, he cannot.

And you know what I’ve discovered?
Time doesn’t disappear. It reshapes. It expands. It waits.
There’s room for it all. Just not all at once.

Caregiving has taught me that time is not lost in these moments of pause.
It’s love, lived in that moment of time.

It’s presence. It’s peace. It’s service.
It’s choosing to be exactly where I need to be, even if it’s not where I thought I’d be.

I’m still learning this.
Still practicing.
But each time I release my grip on time, I feel a little more free.
A little more present.
A little more at peace.

If you're in a season of caregiving, or navigating unexpected change, I invite you to reflect with me:

What are you holding too tightly? What might happen if you softened your grip, just a little?

🦋 Amanda
Steel Peace